Neurodiversity/Synesthesia

September, like all S-words, is an alien color, impossible to describe

But I will try. The beginning of each month gives me an opportunity to share my synesthetic perceptions. I have always involuntarily perceived text as colored. This is called grapheme-colored synesthesia. I also have colored hearing, or chromesthesia. Like most synesthetes who see colored text, I associate every letter with... Read more →

August is a breathy red

My gut says that anyone who sees A in a color other than red is wrong and it feels sorry for them. As you can see, my gut is not the brightest thing in the world, but I like to let it have its say every now and then, which shuts it up for a while. The persistence of certain associations has stimulated a lot of philosophical and scientific debate. Could it be that the open mouth, saying Ah, looks red? Or that the most fundamental, first letter would get the most primary color? Uncommon letters tend to get unusual colors, and that is true with me too. A is red, B is blue, C is yellow, D is solid brown...but less common letters are more nuanced for  me, like X being silver, or Z is a very specific shade of maroon. Read more →

June and July are both reddish purple, with subtle differences.

The beginning of each month gives me an opportunity to share my synesthetic perceptions. I have always involuntarily perceived text as colored. This is called grapheme-colored synesthesia. I also have colored hearing, or chromesthesia. Today, the reddish-purple JUNE transitions to another reddish-purple month, JULY, but I can tell these words... Read more →

May is black but June is reddish-purple. With nuances.

The beginning of each month is a chance to share my synesthetic perceptions. I have always involuntarily perceived text as colored. Today, the rich, deep, midnight black of May transitions into the reddish purple of June. There is more nuance, though, that I am leaving out, which is harder for... Read more →

"What can we do differently?" asks the bony-eared assfish

I don’t think Tim and I will ever be done with course-correcting our communications. Even after 20 years together, Tim and I are constantly checking in with each other. It’s work. It’s also key, I think, to the success of our relationship. The Assfish I’m going to share one of... Read more →

Trying to quiet the clutter

I'm reading old journals of mine which is mostly healing. I was struck by this passage about why clutter is upsetting: "I enjoyed the rest of the day in bliss just cleaning and vacuuming, actually. I decided that to people who suffer easily from sensory overload, introverts like myself, are... Read more →

Misophonia: how loud eaters, pen clickers, public whistlers, and ticking clocks alter how we live our lives

Do you hate certain sounds with a passion that you know is unreasonable? You might have misophonia. Greek for hatred of sound, "misophonia" is replacing previous labeling attempts such as Select Sound Sensitivity Syndrome and Sound-Rage. Misophonia is surprisingly common. It is an involuntary, visceral hatred or disgust felt when... Read more →

A book to read for pi day

When people ask me what my synesthesia is like, I like to recommend that they read Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant. But I am not a savant. I can use my synesthesia to memorize information more readily if I put my mind to it. My mind involuntarily color codes certain types of data. There are disadvantages. Entering a grocery store can make me want to throw up. And my pockets are full of earplugs. And if I try to explain myself, I can feel like a weirdo. I get embarrassed, depending on how people react. So I usually don't bring it up unless there is a good reason to. I'm torn, because science requires truth and honesty and understanding. Read more →

Grief therapy journaling

These are real excerpts from my journals that surrounded taking care of my mom who had frontotemporal dementia. Journaling soothes me and, in some mysterious way, instructs me. I am hooked on journaling and have written out my impressions for the larger chunk of my 56 years. I include my... Read more →

Synesthete's senses are not "all mixed up": airing a pet peeve

The drug analogy implies my world is random and mixed up and disorienting, and nothing could be further from the truth. I am often distracted by predictable stimuli, for example, I know that robin chirps will intrude in my mind as little twisted dark shapes, predictably. But this is not the same thing as having random stimuli surprise you. Robin chirps always look the same way to me. Read more →

Synesthesia Interview

I was interviewed for a research project. This is the transcript of the interview: 1. At what age were you diagnosed with synesthesia? Had you heard of the condition before or was it a new concept for you? I can't remember not having this condition, but I didn't know what... Read more →

How do you tell friends or family that you have synesthesia?

I see text as colored when I read it. This is involuntary and I've done this my entire life. Each word takes on the color of the first letter. It helps me organize information. I just received a question from a young woman asking me for advice on how to... Read more →

Do you have perpetual brain music?

I did a little reading up about what brain researchers call a "perpetual music track" or PMT and was astonished to find that this is supposed to be uncommon. An informal quizzing of several my musician friends makes me question this. My husband, my sister in law, and several of my friends also report perpetual musical imagery. More research needs to be done. Read more →

How Fantasia let me down

was told that for the first time, this film was created so the music would match what you saw! Well, it was about time! I thought. I just could not wait to see this.     I remember sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start, and being so excited. Finally! I really could not understand why this had not been done before. Even as young as I was, I felt, surely there is a great need for everyone to see on screen the same thing that you are hearing!     I watched and watched and watched, and there were little cartoons of hippopotamuses, and of Mickey Mouse, and even of a symphony playing, but during the whole movie, I could not find even one tiny instance where the music was being matched by any colored shapes on the screen. Did I miss it? I was so confused! I asked several times afterwards, where was the part when the music matched the colors? I did not see it! That was when I started to feel a bit alone. Read more →

About my synesthesia

I feel awkward talking about my synesthesia. First, I never thought it was anything unusual, for most of my life. When I realized that I perceive the world quite differently than most people, it was disorienting, yet philosophically stimulating. I have made a decision to discuss my synesthesia when it... Read more →

Motion synesthesia and using your synesthesia to read sheet music even if you think you are musically dyslexic

On Apr 5, 2010, at 1:48 PM, Robert Smith-Hald wrote: Hi, I stumbled across your site today. I found out I had synaesthesia a couple of years ago, and from time to time I search the net to find out more about it. My synny thing is that motion, colour... Read more →