Meditation/mindfulness

Are You Happy?

When my mom was cogent, she used to enjoy telling me, “The Dalai Lama says that the purpose of life is to be happy.” She would go on to say that if people around you are suffering, you can’t really be happy, so in a way this is a directive... Read more →

"What can we do differently?" asked the bony-eared assfish

I’m going to share one of Tim’s best relationship tips here. I think of it as the What Can I Do Differently Technique. He’s used it countless times on me. I try to use it too, but I’m probably not as good at it as he is. I tend to sulk more. Tim sulks, too. I suppose sulking means you care, but it isn’t much fun. Read more →

Have you tried ekphrasis?

Merriam Webster:  EKPHRASIS, a literary description of or commentary on a visual work of art. Thanks to our lovely Write On Door County, our community has regular opportunities to try out ekphrastic writing. Writers are encouraged to sit with a work of art and write. Perhaps your community has something similar, or you might find an online workshop. I hadn't thought myself able to ekphrass. I thought ekphrasis was just for poets which I am not. Read more →

Thoughts on therapeutic journaling

Here is a photo of my mom's typical journaling. I adore her words, they are all a lot like this: A typical page from my mom's journals I write about two pages a day in my journal. I look forward to it every day. Usually I'll do a bit right... Read more →

Rainbow synchronicities

Tim and I were stunned by this rainbow that appeared Nov 12, 2021 right where I do a little mom ritual every morning. You can see Tim got out his fancy camera for this one. A few hours later the nursing home called to say that my mom was unresponsive and I needed to make a decision. What do these synchronicities mean? I have no idea. Read more →

Messages from a dead mother

It's healing for me to reread old letters from my mom before bed. Immersing myself in her words, she comes alive again. I wake, step out into my gentle woods, put out my compost, and talk to what I think of as my greater mother about my new concerns. I'm... Read more →

Quieting the clutter

I decided that to people who suffer easily from sensory overload, introverts like myself, are troubled by randomness, because there is a potential Message in randomness. Read more →

Random mom message for the day

My mom's message for today randomly chosen from her many journals: "Growing takes place just when you think nothing is happening. Intensity of bleakness just before something opens up. Things may have different rhythms. It may be months or years before a creative work emerges, surfaces. We grow by delays.... Read more →

Mind your back: Mindfulness for chronic back pain

From the Emissary Mindfulness archives 2022 Update: I've fallen in love with electrocuting myself. Gently. When I have injured some part of myself. Yes, I am talking about using TENS units. You can buy these little devices that send a low current through your injured muscles. Not only does my... Read more →

Inner space craft

Want to knit stronger neurons? Crafts can help. Being in the zone, or a state of flow is the latest positive psychology terminology for having energized focus, full involvement and enjoyment. Although it is an ancient idea, entire books are now being written on this rather specific state of mind. Certain tasks may enable you to reach a state of flow. I propose that it is good brain exercise. Being in the flow is good for us. What puts you in a state of flow? Read more →

Game Over: you can build cognitive reserve without brain training software

Some people may be tempted to buy brain training programs. My mom hears the advertisements and keeps asking me about whether they will help her. Here are some alternatives backed up by research. Read more →

Misophonia

Do you hate certain sounds with a passion that you know is unreasonable? You might have misophonia. Greek for hatred of sound, "misophonia" is replacing previous labeling attempts such as Select Sound Sensitivity Syndrome and Sound-Rage. Misophonia is surprisingly common. It is an involuntary, visceral hatred or disgust felt when a particular "trigger" sound is heard. The heart may race. Classic physiological responses of involuntary alarm, rage, or nausea might kick in. Read more →

Write that down!

Research backs up the notion that paper list-making helps your memory. Even if you never glance at your list again. Read more →

Knowing DMN well: Reflecting on The Emissary movie and the default mode network

The process of being aware of what you are doing—thinking about the past, present or future—and doing it consciously, being able to move from one state to the other at will, that is the skill that is worth exercising. It is about not getting stuck in the past, the future, or even the glorious now. Read more →

Embracing the hateful chore

"...people were less happy when their minds were wandering than when they were not and this was true during all activities, including the least enjoyable." Read more →

Apples to Apples my way: A focusing technique for rebels

Have you ever played the game Apples to Apples? You randomly pick adjectives and nouns and then try to pair them together. Often the combinations are funny, ridiculous, or even informative. I've turned this into a meditation exercise for myself, and it's one of my top favorites. Read more →

Are your dreams an overlooked resource?

I'm obsessed with my dreams. I'm shocked when I hear someone say that they don't dream. An important piece of their life is missing, I think. Read more →

Two lessons learned in charitable giving

Last week I experienced my first opportunity to try small-scale, personal fundraising following a family crisis. Prior to this, my psyche had lugged around two uncomfortable misconceptions concerning charitable giving. These happily vanished. This has made it easier for me to give, going forward. I’d like to share what I learned. Read more →

I've just been fired from the best job I've ever had

Sitting with my mom in hospice for 6 days, holding her hand, I reflected, "It sounds kind of crass, but part of me--a selfish part of me--feels like I am being fired from a full-time job that I've had for years, a job that I love." Read more →

On the persistence of universal motherliness

The form of the mother has changed, but she persists all around me. I'm grateful for her advice. Read more →

Building our grief toolkits (again)

In people and pets, I have experienced death both fast and slow. I prefer slow. I like to have time to say goodbye. As much time as possible. Life changes, we try to adjust. Rinse, repeat. Read more →

Making daily healthy habits stick

It's taken me a number of years of grouchy fumbling around to figure out how to get certain healthy habits to stick. And...they HAVE been sticking. For over five years as of now. OMG. Something is working! Read more →

Caring for the pinners we love including ourselves

If you have ever been held captive by a talking person, you have been pinned. The standard Pinner holds you firmly in place with this distinctive zombie-like stare. While pinned, you are force fed a steady stream of words that you feel obliged to swallow and digest. The irony here is that the root of your suffering is your instinctive politeness, a personality trait that in any other situation you should have every reason to boast about. Read more →

The Ten Kind Things practice

Write down 10 things: they can be things you like about yourself, or things you think you are good at, or both. Use paper. It triggers different neural pathways than mere thinking, or writing on the computer. It requires more effort to write on paper, but this makes it more real. Read more →

A good heart arrythmia to have

Most people think of heart arrhythmia as something they don't want. Indeed, atrial fibrillation, extra beats, and excessively slow or fast heart rates should have you seeking the advice of a cardiologist. But respiratory sinus arrhythmia, or RSA appears to be an exception. Read more →

Thanksgiving garbage

Cells—the basic constituent of life—recycle and reuse their constituents, and they have survived on Earth for over three billion years. All cells do this. Three billion years. They are on to something. Read more →

What works: empathy, or compassion?

The answer, researchers are finding, is helping people at risk for burnout. This research surprised me. Compassion and empathy activate different brain structures. Read more →

Can you touch your toes with your mind?

I am fascinated by the mechanism required for us to sense the bottoms of our feet. This simple exercise will increase the resolution of the sensory map in your brain. Read more →

Love and Public Speaking

Just as an audience senses your fear, they also sense your love. They will relax if you can find a way to feel love for them. This may not be easy. This is an exercise. But it works. Read more →

Giving Up Epiphanies For Everyday Workouts

iI is human nature to want instant results, be it from diet, exercise, or meditation. When we don't get instant results we get discouraged. It doesn't have to be that way. Read more →

Smell for your life

Prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, researchers were alarmed to learn that loss of the sense of smell was associated with all-cause mortality in a way we still don't quite understand. Now, more than ever, there is interest and encouraging research in smell training as treatment for anosmia. Read more →

Why not have a nice chat with your inner monsters?

One of my favorite meditations is dialoguing with monsters. Read more →

What's the opposite of hangry?

Especially after a meal, focus on the memory of the meal, and how you are not hungry, immediately after. The Not-Hungry-Contentment feeling is a real sensation that I believe you can become more and more sensitized to. Read more →

Atomic meditation II

During your lifetime, many of your atoms go through multiple hosts. We just borrow them, rearranging them into our particular configuration. Read more →

Atomic meditation I

Possibly several ancient stars contributed to making your heavier elements, stars that existed prior to the formation of our solar system, and that's over five billion years ago. You are ancient. Read more →